Families can be tricky y’all, and boy, I could write a book on the craziness that is my family make up. Divorce, friends that are more like family, estranged siblings, throw it all in a pot and then add in a wedding, and any wedding is boiling over with emotions and anxiety. I mean, c’mon, something like 50% of marriages end in divorce (an awful stat to read while you are planning your wedding. I’m sorry). So many of us have divorced parents, that have remarried, and you want to make sure you include them all without hurting anyone’s feelings. (If you are truly planning your day and are not giving in to the pressure from parents, or, if you have the best family in the world and they are not giving you any anxiety at all, please lord, tell me your secrets.)
But I’m here to tell you there are ways to make sure everyone feels included and you remain in control of your day. Now, these might not work for everyone. I do hope that if they don’t work for your unique famjam situation, than they do spark an idea of how you can handle it in a way that pleases everyone (mainly you) and removes the stress for you.
- Have the groom to walk both moms down the aisle (or his parents together). I always feel like the mom of the groom kind of get pushed aside at the wedding. I always suggest that the groom walk his mom down the aisle first. It’s a special moment and it makes her feel super special.
- Have your parents do special readings in the ceremony. Give them a small reading so they all get a moment to participate in the ceremony, that is if they are comfortable.
- Make the parent dances special for your situation. Split the dances to be with all dads or moms and dads or whatever makes your heart happy.
- Have one of them perform part of ceremony. Recent clients of mine had the brides dad perform all the non-legal parts of the ceremony. And boy, it was ALL THE FEELS. It’s a big part, but it’s very personal and special.
- Break the traditions and do what you think is best. Want your mom as your MOH? Go for it. What your dad AND stepdad to walk you down the aisle? Walk together! Literally, included your parents any way you want. OR DON’T. And that’s ok too.
Like I said, I hope this helps you find solutions to challenging, stressful planning points. Or I hope is sparks new ideas for your to include.
Feeling overwhelmed and looking for help? Let’s chat about how I can help make your planning process stress-free.