Planning Series: Picking Your Wedding Party

photo: courtesy Kathy White Photography
photo: courtesy Kathy White Photography

This is always a tough decision for both sides. Some people will be forever grateful to be a part of your day and others; well others won’t share your enthusiasm. Sadly, it often happens that you won’t realize who is truly excited and who might be pretending until it is too late. Here are a few tips to making sure you pick the right people to stand with you.

  1. Don’t forget that asking someone to be in your wedding party is a huge commitment for them as well. There are a lot of costs for everyone involved- bridal showers, dresses, shoes, engagement party, bachelor/bachelorette parties, Stag and Doe (if having one), and so on. If you know that your friend(s) are not capable of being able to pull their financial responsibilities than it’s almost better off to not ask them to be a bridesmaid or groomsman.
  2. Beyond financial commitments, there is a huge time commitment. If your favourite cousin just had a baby, perhaps she’s not the best person to ask. She might not have the time to be at the dress fittings, the meeting to organize the additional small(er) events and to all other times that you might need her to help.
  3. Now, some of those that you don’t ask, will be upset. But don’t make them feel bad for their life not being “in the way” of your wedding. They are your friends, family or soon to be family. You love them and they love you. Just remember that your wedding is not the centre of the universe and be a considerate person. There have been far too many letters/emails/posts that have circled thanks to social media that have shown brides being completely awful and disrespectful to their friends and families based on unrealistic expectations for a wedding party. Don’t be one of them.
  4. Finally, if you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings you can do one of two things. 1. Don’t have a wedding party. Your friends and family will still help you as much as they can. Or 2. Ask every guest to be the wedding party. (There are some really creative ways to do that: invites, at the ceremony, you get the idea).

Thanks.

Mal

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